The interesting thing about buying a round is that everyone has an opinion or a style. Some people are overly generous, always treating others. Others never buy a round (you know who you are). I would argue that, alongside the dying breed of red telephone boxes, the old Bill (not Bobbies, note fellow Finns), the Crown Jewels and Prince Harry's Ginger Nuts, buying a round is somewhat of a British institution.
Us Finns are not a tight nation - we are careful with our money but do splash out on important things in life, like a kilo of cloudberries picked by half of Thailand or a new corner sofa every 25 years. But when it comes to buying drinks, Finland becomes not-so-much-every-man's-land but each-man's-land-is-his-own-land-land. Growing up, we would painstakingly pay for our own drinks, one by one, queuing up at the bar, waiting for our turn. If you paid for someone's drink, they would owe you their newborn. So understandably it took a while to get my head around the etiquette of buying drinks in the UK.
Being a single girl about town, you don't have to go thirsty in London. Being a single au pair girl about town, you definitely won't and won't want to go thirsty in London. Drinks are expensive, men cute (although rather short, as was my first impression) and every penny counts - there is always some friendly soul somewhere who is willing to part with his hard earned cash to ensure your rehydration. Unlike Finland, where you owe a man a newborn or at least a night of passion if he should put his hand in his pocket and buy you a Gin Long Drink, in London it seemed the norm. Guys would happily chat to you and buy you a drink and if you did not want to chat any longer, no problem, one of you would move on. Or you both would, together. Those were the days when you could go out with a £10 budget and come home with the same amount. Result.
Once I graduated from just going out on a Saturday night to actually meeting friends in a pub, the rules changed. If you were a part of a couple going out with the other couples, the men paid. If you were in a mixed group, the men in couples paid for more rounds than the singles of either sex. If your were just singles of either sex, you took it in turns to get rounds in. It was acceptable not to take part in rounds if you were skint and just got your own tap water. It was not acceptable to take part in rounds and leave when it was your turn. It still isn't (you know who you are).
I remember trying to introduce this groundbreaking idea of buying a round in Finland. I deeply offended an aunt who took it as I didn't think she could afford a drink - kind of the same principle as tipping in Finland, deeply offensive because you are just being flash with your cash and think you are better than the person serving you (who most likely makes the same amount you do). I have managed to get parts of the family comfortable with the concept and it works, but it still goes against the grain slightly. It's like not asking for a separate bill for each diner at the end of your meal, it's just natural.
Also - buying rounds in the US does not work. It's all well and good to be friendly and nice, go to the bar, order a round of drinks and then everyone has to collect their own and show their ID. Kind of takes the shine out of the whole thing. Not that you buy rounds to be popular. Much.
Nowadays, buying rounds is a given. You go out, you buy them, you take part in others. No-one makes notes or keeps tabs but still everyone is aware if you have not bought a round for ages and continue to accept drinks, or if you are constantly buying drinks and not accepting others'. You either got a great bonus or don't have any friends.... And if you don't buy one, you definitely won't have any friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment